{"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Opportunity.","punchline":"That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!","id":33}
["Ascot locavore pitchfork food truck pour-over. Offal ugh pinterest 3 wolf moon raw denim hot chicken knausgaard sustainable pug viral. Marfa williamsburg succulents yuccie. Mixtape actually cred celiac put a bird on it williamsburg, cupping big mood normcore. Hexagon DSA whatever +1, migas tilde blog skateboard hella cred man bun sus microdosing heirloom af. Kale chips cornhole +1 hell of gluten-free cupping marfa blackbird spyplane.","Echo park kitsch etsy mukbang palo santo quinoa food truck tattooed cray scenester organic. Kickstarter quinoa mukbang enamel pin skateboard sus chia green juice. Humblebrag hammock bruh mukbang swag forage. Art party keffiyeh vaporware, ugh vexillologist cold-pressed pok pok knausgaard kitsch beard affogato. Grailed mixtape pabst hammock, thundercats franzen ramps distillery subway tile.","Literally enamel pin everyday carry cray, hammock jianbing pinterest flannel butcher four dollar toast cronut grailed air plant hot chicken. Narwhal neutral milk hotel unicorn poke single-origin coffee. PBR&B mixtape thundercats pitchfork irony marxism, master cleanse plaid taxidermy truffaut wayfarers fit meditation enamel pin af. Vice fam cold-pressed brunch cupping. Polaroid fanny pack listicle, same subway tile mixtape swag bitters snackwave intelligentsia. Gastropub DSA echo park normcore hell of tote bag blackbird spyplane keffiyeh.","Coloring book twee freegan heirloom taiyaki taxidermy blue bottle craft beer prism synth austin migas af man bun. Tilde try-hard typewriter pop-up pitchfork tonx man bun offal schlitz blackbird spyplane leggings prism gluten-free. Copper mug 90's VHS 8-bit lumbersexual fashion axe sartorial keffiyeh trust fund freegan semiotics mumblecore kale chips blog. Fingerstache echo park sus try-hard offal ascot af knausgaard blackbird spyplane. Waistcoat raclette pug lo-fi gentrify, artisan pabst. Sartorial semiotics bodega boys forage, unicorn scenester tousled health goth organic Brooklyn cornhole VHS vexillologist blue bottle whatever. Man bun semiotics VHS, snackwave tote bag raclette shabby chic retro.","Roof party tousled distillery wayfarers, hashtag YOLO you probably haven't heard of them VHS. Semiotics gastropub taxidermy, kitsch artisan tbh pitchfork venmo messenger bag leggings vegan chambray. Tote bag poke lomo ascot fixie coloring book vape fam. Cold-pressed unicorn helvetica 8-bit praxis, bushwick four loko actually fanny pack etsy listicle forage selvage direct trade. Adaptogen VHS retro YOLO beard XOXO. Synth pok pok small batch jean shorts stumptown tote bag."]
{"slip": { "id": 165, "advice": "Eliminate the unnecessary."}}
{"type":"general","setup":"If you boil a clown...","punchline":"Do you get a laughing stock?","id":44}
{"fact":"Cats can judge within 3 inches the precise location of a sound being made 1 yard away.","length":86}
{"slip": { "id": 126, "advice": "Taking photos with tablet devices looks weird."}}
{"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?","punchline":"Shakespeare.","id":211}
{"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?","punchline":"Never mind...it's tearable","id":39}
{"type":"standard","title":"Martin Smolinski","displaytitle":"Martin Smolinski","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q95763","titles":{"canonical":"Martin_Smolinski","normalized":"Martin Smolinski","display":"Martin Smolinski"},"pageid":13449100,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/dc/Martin_Smolinski_Coventry_2007_speedway.jpg/330px-Martin_Smolinski_Coventry_2007_speedway.jpg","width":320,"height":213},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dc/Martin_Smolinski_Coventry_2007_speedway.jpg","width":900,"height":600},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1258755457","tid":"8bc63a77-a808-11ef-9197-4333f44a819c","timestamp":"2024-11-21T13:00:13Z","description":"German speedway rider (born 1984)","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Smolinski","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Smolinski?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Smolinski?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Martin_Smolinski"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Smolinski","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/Martin_Smolinski","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Smolinski?action=edit","talk":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Martin_Smolinski"}},"extract":"Martin Smolinski is a German motorcycle speedway rider. He is three-times world longtrack champion and eight times champion of Germany.","extract_html":"
Martin Smolinski is a German motorcycle speedway rider. He is three-times world longtrack champion and eight times champion of Germany.
"}{"type":"general","setup":"Why does Waldo only wear stripes?","punchline":"Because he doesn't want to be spotted.","id":388}
{"type":"standard","title":"Battle of Zaraysk","displaytitle":"Battle of Zaraysk","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q4187109","titles":{"canonical":"Battle_of_Zaraysk","normalized":"Battle of Zaraysk","display":"Battle of Zaraysk"},"pageid":56739406,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/79/Tushino.jpg/330px-Tushino.jpg","width":320,"height":227},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Tushino.jpg","width":640,"height":454},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1234158960","tid":"46933480-4099-11ef-8eda-731401ac0941","timestamp":"2024-07-12T21:54:13Z","description":"1608 battle","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zaraysk","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zaraysk?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zaraysk?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Battle_of_Zaraysk"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zaraysk","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/Battle_of_Zaraysk","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zaraysk?action=edit","talk":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Battle_of_Zaraysk"}},"extract":"In the Battle of Zaraisk, during the Time of Troubles, on April 9, 1608, Colonel Alexander Lisovsky in service of False Dmitry II, defeated the army of Tsar Vasily IV under Zahariya Lyapunov and Ivan Khovansky.","extract_html":"
In the Battle of Zaraisk, during the Time of Troubles, on April 9, 1608, Colonel Alexander Lisovsky in service of False Dmitry II, defeated the army of Tsar Vasily IV under Zahariya Lyapunov and Ivan Khovansky.
"}{"type":"general","setup":"What did the Red light say to the Green light?","punchline":"Don't look at me I'm changing!","id":182}
{"type":"general","setup":"Where do rabbits go after they get married?","punchline":"On a bunny-moon.","id":286}
{"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?","punchline":"It's ok, he woke up.","id":90}
{"type":"standard","title":"Phoebis marcellina","displaytitle":"Phoebis marcellina","namespace":{"id":0,"text":""},"wikibase_item":"Q25404395","titles":{"canonical":"Phoebis_marcellina","normalized":"Phoebis marcellina","display":"Phoebis marcellina"},"pageid":76357147,"thumbnail":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/Marcellina_Sulphur_imported_from_iNaturalist_photo_319537436_on_13_March_2024.jpg/330px-Marcellina_Sulphur_imported_from_iNaturalist_photo_319537436_on_13_March_2024.jpg","width":320,"height":480},"originalimage":{"source":"https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Marcellina_Sulphur_imported_from_iNaturalist_photo_319537436_on_13_March_2024.jpg","width":1365,"height":2048},"lang":"en","dir":"ltr","revision":"1244371301","tid":"ce4f8f29-6c77-11ef-9b8a-357c3ed4c36d","timestamp":"2024-09-06T17:45:29Z","description":"Species of butterfly","description_source":"local","content_urls":{"desktop":{"page":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebis_marcellina","revisions":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebis_marcellina?action=history","edit":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebis_marcellina?action=edit","talk":"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Phoebis_marcellina"},"mobile":{"page":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebis_marcellina","revisions":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:History/Phoebis_marcellina","edit":"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebis_mar